No sweating

Yup, the title may say 'no sweating' but is crying allowed? If so, then perhaps I should cry my heart out and hope to feel much better. Anyway we had the proverbial pretense gathering yesterday and I was trying very hard to be a good co-host and one actively trying to make everyone enjoy the event. They were there and it was cordial at first because of much active hospitality on my part (it was difficult and to some extent heart-wrenching cause u have to face that cold and unfriendly face, and of course there is an attitude attached to it too). But everything went ok until the part when my mil said that my daughters quick learning is the by product of my then nanny! I was rather mad, not because she think so lowly of me and too highly of my nanny but because she assumed. I dunno what is it with her, everytime i am in the room with the kids, if she is around, she would leave immediately. Maybe because she has got other things to do, but maybe because she would otherwise feel left out cause my daughter speaks a diferent language to me than to her. Then when I confronted her she said "sorry (in an unsorry way) but i said it cause i have never seen u teach her before". Well perhaps iIcan see it as her narrow mindedness and shallow attitude or maybe she is just jealous she cannot teach kids that way, i dunnot but all i knew is that apology was all but sincere! And it hurt to think that she is like that. And she still say that we should watch what we say cause what we say can hurt people.
Anyway, her words kept ringing in my head and today I woke up even before my alarm rang, cause I am angry. Then when I watched my little one sleeping, I felt more relaxed and at peace...its like a small voice saying, "don't sweat it, it not worth it. Look at me, I need you." Then it tugged my heart and I am reminded of what our Lord went through, all the blaphesmy and all the mocking...all these even from his family and friends....what is my 'suffering' compared to His.
I want to live my life like it was my last, I want to give my energy and my time to those important to me. So God help me focus.
In fact what should be my concern is not my own problem but my beloved husband. When I married him I knew he was capable of great things, he is the type of person who have excess memory capacity and a sharp anylitical ability. I still think he is that person, but what is sad is, when what my mil does to my ego, she has been doing it to his for the past 30 years or so...so thats probably why my husband is unhappy. But I know God can help us, not to get back at them, but to be free....free in mind and spirit. I know we have to come back to Him, cause He is the one who really care.
I thank God that He always provide 'coming back' moments for us, moments that allow us to reflect on our lives and realise that this life is only worth living if He is significantly present.
I know now, I need to leave but I want my husband to be with us, I do not want him here alone.
God open the way for us please.....